Sometimes mommies awaken startled, without warning, in the middle of the night,
Having just realized that something awful is happening, something that just isn’t right.
She wakes up daddy…….
Honey, the baby isn’t kicking. And it seems like she hasn’t been for almost an entire day.
Something is definitely not right. We need to do something…….let’s get on our knees and pray.
Daddy looks on, shocked and with a look of disbelief, in the quiet darkness of the room.
Mommy says trembling………..
It is really strange, knowing a baby is inside of me, to feel only stillness in the womb.
Daddy now just trying to hold things together.
Mommy makes her point clear…….
She was kicking so much every day, and now I am so worried. So scared. I hardly even know how to pray.
She looks more intensely……
I don’t know what to do. Would you please pray? Do you have any words? I don’t even know what to say.
He hesitates trying to say the right words.
And then she, with anger and more urgency…….
Please hurry! Cry out to God now! I cannot feel her kick and it is scaring me to death!
My precious baby might be gone forever, even before she takes her first breath.
Daddy wants to make sure, so he walks toward mommy, eyes welling with tears,
He remains silent, not knowing what to say, as he ponders the worst of all his fears.
But mommy is the one carrying the tiny life within; her heart is breaking. So he says……
Sweetie, are you weeping?
Softly muttering to her…….
Please relax and lie down for a moment. Let me feel your belly while I pray. Perhaps the baby is only sleeping.
He reaches down, placing his hand gently on mommy’s tummy, hoping somehow she is mistaken,
He wants so badly to feel the baby kick, but it never happens. And now he is totally shaken.
He tries to be brave, pretending he has it all together. But he doesn’t. His life is being shattered.
Their little girl is not moving, and he has this sinking feeling……..
We cannot lose her. She is all that ever mattered.
Then, you race to the hospital, barely able to focus, hoping it is all just a false alarm,
That there really is no problem, that your baby has experienced no real physical harm.
Nothing else matters to you; all you want is for your baby to kick, as you hope and pray….
Oh Lord Jesus, please give us a miracle!
But with every passing moment, as your worst fears are confirmed, mommy says….
Help me! I’m going to go hysterical!
The time has come. You have finally arrived at the doctor. It felt like an eternity waiting.
You tell them there is no kicking, no energy, no signs of life; you feel like hope is fading.
Mommy and daddy, restless, tired and stressed; mommy is even very sick and exhausted, and just feeling very crummy.
But that doesn’t matter to her. All she thinks is…….
‘Why is this happening? Why this horror? Is there any life in my tummy?’
But she already knows the answer, as the doctors must only confirm the horrible thing she already knows.
Mommies know before daddies, but daddies hurt too; there is no pain like losing a baby, as the saying goes.
Mommies have to carry a dead baby, and then deliver a dead baby. Unfathomable pain.
So when babies stop kicking, mommies know. But they are certainly never to blame.
When mommies awaken startled, they always know.
They always know.
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6 thoughts on “When Mommies Awaken Startled”
Sad but true. Well written.
Thank you Heidi! I appreciate your feedback. And yes, it is very sad indeed, to think about someone losing a child. It was a difficult post to write for sure.
I am still reliving this nightmare everyday I miss my son so much and even though God has given me another blesssing there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about my son. Rest well my sleeping angel please continue to watch over mommy and daddy until the day we meet again
Thank you for so much for commenting. I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I know that God will continue to give you strength to endure this tragedy. May Jesus Christ be your light, salvation, and comfort all the days of your life.
That is beautiful, Wow..you have the gift for writing from your heart..
Thanks mom! I always appreciate your comments. (-: