Tragedy and Suffering

COVID-19 Not Supreme

Jamie Francis Poetry, Tragedy and Suffering

No, not at all, not even a tiny bit, and not in any manner,
Coronavirus is not in control, it has no sovereign banner.
It may be disruptive, causing so much unspeakable pain,
Making us all to feel as though we’ve truly gone insane.

But the virus has its limits; it doesn’t have final control,
Jesus Christ is sovereign over COVID, and Him we should extol.
The Bible has no loopholes, this matter is crystal clear,
Nothing surprises our God, not even 2020, this most crazy year.

The LORD is doing so much, many things we don’t even know,
But one thing Christians can say is this: He is causing us to grow,
To grow in ways like never before, stripping us of our idols,
Showing us our great need for Him, bringing inward revival.

Make no mistake, COVID-19 is a horrific thing, causing many thousands to succumb,
Families have lost their precious loved ones, while some are left without their income.
We should never diminish the hardship and pain of others, or the evil consequences of Adam’s Fall,
But let’s remember, God uses all things for a believer’s good, to show us that He is our all in all.

Satan may think he’s in control of COVID-19, but he would be seriously deluded,
God is the One who rules over all things, as studied theologians have rightly concluded.
So when you’re tempted to think God has lost His grip, or that He is pacing anxiously around the throne,
Go to the Word, meditate on Who He is, that He is the Ruler over all, and this world belongs to Him alone.
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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

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What Cancer Can’t Take From You

Jamie Francis Family, Poetry, Tragedy and Suffering

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This is written for my beautiful sister Stephanie, who is loving Jesus while battling cancer. This is also written for anyone else who is battling this disease, or has a friend or family member who is fighting it with everything they have.

On your worst days, and even on your best days, always remember the truths below to remind you that God is always with you, He has cancer on a leash, and no illness can take any of these things from you ……… ever.


What cancer can’t take is the glorious freedom you have in Christ,
The freedom bought by His precious blood, by His infinite sacrifice.
It can’t take away any heavenly blessings, which are forever thine,
God will never leave or forsake you; you are connected to the Vine.

What cancer can’t take is the complete forgiveness of your sins,
It can’t take away your justification, when eternal life truly begins.
Nor can it take away God’s grace, strength, and loving-kindness,
Nor that past moment, when He removed your spiritual blindness.

What cancer can’t take is the joy of being loved by your awesome Lord,
It can’t take your future hope of seeing Jesus, by far your greatest reward.
It may cause you temporal pain, and will sometimes make you very afraid,
But do not fear; death has been conquered, your penalty has been paid.

What cancer can’t take away is the genuine love the body of Christ has for you,
It can’t take away the prayers offered, on behalf of all you are going through.
Nor can it can’t take away the comfort……of knowing that God is always in control,
That He works all things for good…… for you His child; it is well with your soul.

What cancer can’t take is the promise of the glorified body you will receive,
And all the riches God has in store for you, of which you cannot even conceive,
It can’t take away the bloody cross, when Jesus atoned for your transgressions,
Nor can it take away his rising from the grave, securing your own resurrection.

What cancer can’t take away is the indwelling peace of the Holy Spirit,
You have boldness in the day of judgment! And death? Don’t even fear it!
So the next time you go for chemo, and you’re feeling like total despair,
Remember, everything that belongs to Jesus belongs to you! You’re His co-heir.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

What God Brings from Suffering

Jamie Francis Heaven, Poetry, Tragedy and Suffering

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What God brings from suffering, a process far beyond what we can imagine,
It’s never the way we would desire, never our wish for such things to happen.
But God knows what He is doing, having great purpose in what He brings,
It may always be great mystery to us, how the King is glorified in all things.

We are not called to figure it out, as though we must know the how and why,
Better to open the Word, reading every glorious promise, even while you cry.
God is always with you, dear Christian, to give comfort when you are weary,
What a wonderful and precious promise, that your Father loves you so dearly.

He is able to comfort you in your pain, as He Himself has gone through great distress,
On the cross Jesus absorbed God’s wrath for sinners, so that we would be forever blessed.
But how can this be? That He, who is eternally blissful, would choose such bitter anguish,
So that we would not be judged, having our sins forgiven, the power of death vanquished.

And as if all that were not enough, the Lord is also doing a great work inside of us,
Using our pain to draw us closer to Him, sanctifying us, while increasing our feeble trust.
Suffering turns our hearts away from the things of this world, as God removes our remaining dross,
Which is the very reason our Master commands us to deny ourselves, while taking up our cross.

So when in the midst of inexpressible pain, and you feel like you can’t go on any longer,
Remember your Great High Priest who suffered, the One who is worthy of infinite honor.
He will never leave you nor forsake you, His Holy Spirit will be with you to the very end,
Then your pain will be no more, in Heaven you will be, with Christ an eternity to spend!
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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

Prayer Devotional, Psalm 42

Jamie Francis Devotionals, Prayer, Tragedy and Suffering
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Dear brothers and sisters,

Let’s take a look at a powerful and hope-filled Chapter in the Psalms. At first glance, it doesn’t look so full of hope. In fact, it looks pretty bleak. But because the psalmist ultimately trusts in God, his entire outlook begins to change. He starts to look upward, and not so much inward. That’s the sweet spot of Christianity. When feeling depressed, anxious, and/or distant from God, this passage is a great place to turn. Even as Christians, we often get anxious, depressed, and fearful. We can’t imagine that we will even make it through the day with our sanity preserved………let alone the rest of our lives. Let’s see what we can learn from Psalm 42, so that we are better prepared for the turmoil and suffering that will come to all of us.

When we focus on all of the pressures of life, and all of the bad things that could happen, we forget God and the enemy rejoices. Thoughts like these flood our feeble minds………..What if they reject me because I’m a Christian? What if I get fired from my job? What if my child becomes a prodigal? What if my child is already a prodigal and doesn’t return to God? What if I get cancer? What if my wife gets cancer? What if my house burns down? What if…? What if….? What if….?  AArrgghhh. It’s enough to make anyone a whirlwind of anxiety inside. Sometimes even the godliest of people. And truth be told, if he hadn’t turned to God, the psalmist would have let inner turmoil completely take over his life.

There were probably seasons (or at least moments) when anxiety, as opposed to God’s promises, dominated the psalmist’s entire outlook. But ultimately his theology of God’s perfect character saved the day. He was brought to that desperate place where the troubled soul seeks God with everything he has, and doesn’t hold back. The lesson: In desperate situations, be extremely careful not to let your feelings override correct theology of who God is. Really, this applies in any situation, not just desperate ones. But as it goes, when our sufferings increase, we are more tempted to let feelings rule the day. But let’s look where the psalmist turns. When he is at the end of his rope, he realizes that he needs a different focus…….off of Himself, and onto the King.

You know what the biggest “what if” we should be concerned about? It’s not all the “what ifs” I listed above. Not even close. This is the one we should be most concerned about………What if I lose hope by forgetting God? That would be more of a tragedy than anything else in life! The psalmist is harassed by God’s enemies, feeling downcast, and unable to worship at the sanctuary. He doesn’t necessarily feel God’s presence. But even so, he recognizes that God is His refuge and the only One worthy to turn to. Above all things, he does not want to forget His God. That would be the ultimate tragedy. But sadly, Christians can fall into that trap when life takes us by surprise.

Feelings change. Emotions go high, low, and everywhere in between. And in a fallen world, our circumstances are never going to be exactly as we want them. But none of this describes what God is like. He is our steadfast and unchangeable Rock. God is worthy to be praised not only during times of comfort and blessing, but also during trial and great distress. He will often put us in situations that force us to trust Him. He does this to train our faith. He removes the comforts we can see so that we focus more on the One we cannot yet see. Our emotions will often waiver back and forth, but God and the promises of His Word do not change. Therefore, our praise should not waiver either. It should always be focused on our Lord Jesus Christ.

We worship the God of hope, the One who has given us the certain expectation of a resurrected and glorified life with Jesus Christ! Now experienced in part, but one day in full. Let us turn our attention away from mounting circumstances, and onto our great God and Savior. Like the Psalmist, let us praise Him at all times. This is so important for our sanctification, that we learn to praise Him and give thanks in all things. This is true both individually, and in our spiritual growth as the body of Christ.

Cling to this truth, dear Christian. It will change you for the better. As bad as things may get sometimes, we are never hopeless as long as God is caring for us. And if you are a Christian, He will do that forever.

 

                    PSALM 42

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”

4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.

6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From the Hill Mizar.
7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
8 The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.

9 I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

Prayer Devotional, 2 Corinthians 1:1-11

Jamie Francis Devotionals, Prayer, Tragedy and Suffering

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Dear brothers and sisters,

We will be in 2 Corinthians looking at how God works mightily through our prayers, especially during times of suffering. There is a strong temptation for us to ignore prayer during times of extreme trials and difficulties. We get so stressed out and weary, and then we foolishly decide that we don’t want to expend any energy to pray. We doubt God’s love, care, and provision for us. But this is unwise. In fact, it is outright spiritually dangerous. To neglect prayer at such crucial times would be tragic. It displays a lack of trust in our good and holy Father, who sent His Son to die for us. So…..how do we get out of such a spiritual rut?

We get our eyes off of us and onto Him! We approach the throne. We pray. Even if we don’t feel like it. We still pray. And we ask others to pray with, and for, us. This is where the body of Christ comes in and helps us. In the passage below, we see the importance of corporate prayer in how God delivers Paul from his perilous circumstances. Paul earnestly desired the prayers of the saints in Corinth, because he knew that God works powerfully through prayer.

Paul, like anyone else in his situation, wanted to be rescued. But it wasn’t just for the sake of being rescued. Look at verse 11. It was so that God would receive thanks. When he appeals to the Corinthians for prayer, Paul wasn’t just thinking of his own comfort and well-being. He wants the compassion and power of God to be acknowledged and magnified. He wants God to receive the thanks and praise He is due, both for past and future deliverance. Notice how Paul expects God to act on his behalf at the end of verse 10.

As God answers our own corporate prayers, we ought to be people who express praise and thanksgiving for his many mercies. Like Paul, we need to be grateful for God’s deliverance from difficult circumstances (if He so chooses). But we must also be zealous for our church families to remember God……. first and foremost! Notice how Paul sees purpose both in His suffering and in God’s deliverance. We need to have the same Biblical mindset.

Matthew Henry says this about verse 11: “Past experiences encourage faith and hope, and lay us under obligation to trust in God for time to come. And it is our duty, not only to help one another with prayer, but in praise and thanksgiving, and thereby to make suitable returns for benefits received. Thus both trials and mercies will end in good to ourselves and others.”

                                              2 Corinthians 1:1-11

1 Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,

To the church of God that is at Corinth, with all the saints who are in the whole of Achaia:

2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 7 Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. 8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10 He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 11 You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

My Sister, My Example, My Hero

Jamie Francis Family, Poetry, Tragedy and Suffering

photoYou are my hero Stephanie, I could not be as strong as you,
Never giving up hope, you are a fighter through and through.

No cancer could keep you down, the doctors are truly amazed,
There is nothing else to say but this: Let God’s Name be praised!

You are my hero Stephanie, you are beautiful inside and out,
Always smiling, always kind, showing us what love is all about.

God is watching over you, and His presence brings you peace,
So when you are lonely or anxious, to Him all your cares release.

You are my hero Stephanie, your testimony is now seen before all,
You have suffered many things, but it is your joy the nurses recall.

I thought I might lose you, not knowing the details of God’s story,
But He has been so merciful, bringing healing to display His glory.

You are my hero Stephanie, don’t forget God is with you in your trials,
His love is endless and never changes, it stretches for miles and miles.

I know some nights are worse than others, and each day has its own struggle,
But the Lord is in your midst, to deliver you from fear and enemy trouble.

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You are my hero Stephanie, God’s promises will strengthen you in despair,
God did not spare His own Son for you, He will provide for your every care.

We have seen you come so far, so please continue to fight, and never be afraid,
He knows your need, He is your great High Priest; on Him your sin was laid.

You are my hero Stephanie, even in your pain your face lights up the room,
As a shining example to all, that each moment is a gift, even from womb to tomb.

You have taught me so many things, like the value of life, family, and friends,
Jesus is shining through you, so that all can see how much His love transcends.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!   — Jamie

Why Stillborn Mommies Deserve a Special Mother’s Day

Jamie Francis Family, Stillborn Babies, Tragedy and Suffering

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You deserve your own special Mother’s Day, stillborn mommy. Yes, you should be honored and remembered in a specific way, and on a specific day, that wouldn’t apply to every other mommy. This is not to take anything away from other mommies who have not had the same life experience. All mommies should be honored on Mother’s Day, and every other day of the year for that matter. But you are different, stillborn mommy. You are a unique mommy. And since you are a unique mommy, you deserve your own special, unique day.

And even if you have other children besides your stillborn babies, then you should get two Mother’s Day holidays. One to celebrate you, for all you have done to love and sacrifice for your living children. And another to celebrate you, for all you went through during your pregnancy, and in delivering your stillborn baby. Not only that, but you deserve a special day to recognize everything you still do to keep their memory alive. You deserve it because of the unique pain that you still bear each day. Your sacrifice merits a different kind of recognition. Your story is truly one of a kind. And it’s time we saw some headlines about it!

It is not wrong, or prideful, of you to receive such a special holiday. It is not even wrong to  desire it. You went through a specific pain other mommies didn’t. Yes, you both carried a baby in your tummy. You both went through your hormonal changes. You both got sick. You both saw your babies on the ultrasound. You both heard a heartbeat. You both took good care of yourselves. You both gained weight. You both endlessly shopped for maternity clothes. You both decorated a brand new room for the baby. Perhaps you both had a baby shower and did a registry. You both spoke joyfully, and incessantly, about how excited you were for delivery day. You both cried after the birth (for very different reasons of course). And most importantly, you both love your babies with all your heart.

But…………you didn’t get to celebrate like they did, after all that hard work you put in. I mean, you were eating right and exercising. You went to doctor appointments and birthing classes. You went to all your scheduled checkups. You got sick and were uncomfortable………like all the time. You did all this, and you still didn’t get to celebrate like they did. And after going through all that, you deserve a special day. No one else knows your pain. It is unique. It is not something you can even put into words. Why aren’t you recognized for your suffering? I don’t know. It is a mystery to me why stillborn parents get pushed to the bottom of the pain and suffering totem pole. It’s time that changed.

As a stillborn daddy, I only know a little tiny piece of what you went through. I was there when my Ariana was born. But obviously, I don’t know what it is like to deliver a dead baby out of my body. A baby I felt kicking. A baby who could hear my voice, and could respond to every one of my subtle movements. You mommies do the real work. And I bet you would say that the pain of childbirth was nothing compared to the pain of seeing your lifeless baby afterwards.

Other mommies didn’t deal with that. It is a cruel thing that you had to go through. You had to watch other mommies smiling while looking at their new babies. You had to listen to your co-workers talk about how much fun they were having with their new baby. You heard them keep talking about how fast they go through diapers, and how much money everything costs. Or how they constantly talk about being awakened in the middle of the night because their baby won’t stop crying. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. But it still hurts really bad.

Your stillborn baby makes you a true mommy in every sense of the word! Even if you have never have any other children. You deserve your own special Mother’s Day. You deserve it today. Why?

Because………..

 

1) Your stillborn baby is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and your womb is the place where this miraculous event took place.

2) So few people try to empathize with the pain you have gone through, and still experience. A special Mother’s Day would help people recognize it more.

3) You remember what it’s like to hold your lifeless baby and love them unconditionally, even when they could not love you back.

4) You continue to love your stillborn, even though your baby is not here to return it.

5) The length of a baby’s life outside the womb has no bearing on whether or not you are truly a mommy. A mother of a living baby does not make her more of a mommy than you are of your stillborn. (I’ve written more about this topic here)

6) Your baby is not dead. He or she is alive more than ever! (more on that here)

7) The bond between mother and child begins in the womb and never ends. Is there anyone else in the world as anxious as you are to see your little one again? I think not.

All of these reasons, and many more, make you a mommy. Not a lesser mommy. But a true mommy just like any other. Except for the fact that you are unique in many ways. You are a mommy who deserves her own very special Mother’s Day! And you deserve it whether or not America, the UK, or any other countries recognize it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

 

You deserve your own special Mother’s Day, stillborn mommy. Yes, you should be honored and remembered in a specific way, and on a specific day, that wouldn’t apply to every other mommy. This is not to take anything away from other mommies who have not had the same life experience. All mommies should be honored on Mother’s Day, and every other day of the year for that matter. But you are different, stillborn mommy. You are a unique mommy. And since you are a unique mommy, you deserve your own special, unique day.

And even if you have other children besides your stillborn babies, then you should get two Mother’s Day holidays. One to celebrate you, for all you have done to love and sacrifice for your living children. And another to celebrate you, for all you went through during your pregnancy, and in delivering your stillborn baby. Not only that, but you deserve a special day to recognize everything you still do to keep their memory alive. You deserve it because of the unique pain that you still bear each day. Your sacrifice merits a different kind of recognition. Your story is truly one of a kind. And it’s time we saw some headlines about it!

It is not wrong, or prideful, of you to receive such a special holiday. It is not even wrong to  desire it. You went through a specific pain other mommies didn’t. Yes, you both carried a baby in your tummy. You both went through your hormonal changes. You both got sick. You both saw your babies on the ultrasound. You both heard a heartbeat. You both took good care of yourselves. You both gained weight. You both endlessly shopped for maternity clothes. You both decorated a brand new room for the baby. Perhaps you both had a baby shower and did a registry. You both spoke joyfully, and incessantly, about how excited you were for delivery day. You both cried after the birth (for very different reasons of course). And most importantly, you both love your babies with all your heart.

But…………you didn’t get to celebrate like they did, after all that hard work you put in. I mean, you were eating right and exercising. You went to doctor appointments and birthing classes. You went to all your scheduled checkups. You got sick and were uncomfortable………like all the time. You did all this, and you still didn’t get to celebrate like they did. And after going through all that, you deserve a special day. No one else knows your pain. It is unique. It is not something you can even put into words. Why aren’t you recognized for your suffering? I don’t know. It is a mystery to me why stillborn parents get pushed to the bottom of the pain and suffering totem pole. It’s time that changed.

As a stillborn daddy, I only know a little tiny piece of what you went through. I was there when my Ariana was born. But obviously, I don’t know what it is like to deliver a dead baby out of my body. A baby I felt kicking. A baby who could hear my voice, and could respond to every one of my subtle movements. You mommies do the real work. And I bet you would say that the pain of childbirth was nothing compared to the pain of seeing your lifeless baby afterwards.

Other mommies didn’t deal with that. It is a cruel thing that you had to go through. You had to watch other mommies smiling while looking at their new babies. You had to listen to your co-workers talk about how much fun they were having with their new baby. You heard them keep talking about how fast they go through diapers, and how much money everything costs. Or how they constantly talk about being awakened in the middle of the night because their baby won’t stop crying. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. But it still hurts really bad.

Your stillborn baby makes you a true mommy in every sense of the word! Even if you have never have any other children. You deserve your own special Mother’s Day. You deserve it today. Why?

Because………..

 

1) Your stillborn baby is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and your womb is the place where this miraculous event took place.

2) So few people try to empathize with the pain you have gone through, and still experience. A special Mother’s Day would help people recognize it more.

3) You remember what it’s like to hold your lifeless baby and love them unconditionally, even when they could not love you back.

4) You continue to love your stillborn, even though your baby is not here to return it.

5) The length of a baby’s life outside the womb has no bearing on whether or not you are truly a mommy. A mother of a living baby does not make her more of a mommy than you are of your stillborn. (I’ve written more about this topic here)

6) Your baby is not dead. He or she is alive more than ever! (more on that here)

7) The bond between mother and child begins in the womb and never ends. Is there anyone else in the world as anxious as you are to see your little one again? I think not.

All of these reasons, and many more, make you a mommy. Not a lesser mommy. But a true mommy just like any other. Except for the fact that you are unique in many ways. You are a mommy who deserves her own very special Mother’s Day! And you deserve it whether or not America, the UK, or any other countries recognize it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

woman-1284353_1280

 

You deserve your own special Mother’s Day, stillborn mommy. Yes, you should be honored and remembered in a specific way, and on a specific day, that wouldn’t apply to every other mommy. This is not to take anything away from other mommies who have not had the same life experience. All mommies should be honored on Mother’s Day, and every other day of the year for that matter. But you are different, stillborn mommy. You are a unique mommy. And since you are a unique mommy, you deserve your own special, unique day.

And even if you have other children besides your stillborn babies, then you should get two Mother’s Day holidays. One to celebrate you, for all you have done to love and sacrifice for your living children. And another to celebrate you, for all you went through during your pregnancy, and in delivering your stillborn baby. Not only that, but you deserve a special day to recognize everything you still do to keep their memory alive. You deserve it because of the unique pain that you still bear each day. Your sacrifice merits a different kind of recognition. Your story is truly one of a kind. And it’s time we saw some headlines about it!

It is not wrong, or prideful, of you to receive such a special holiday. It is not even wrong to desire it. You went through a specific pain other mommies didn’t. Yes, you both carried a baby in your tummy. You both went through your hormonal changes. You both got sick. You both saw your babies on the ultrasound. You both heard a heartbeat. You both took good care of yourselves. You both gained weight. You both endlessly shopped for maternity clothes. You both decorated a brand new room for the baby. Perhaps you both had a baby shower and did a registry. You both spoke joyfully, and incessantly, about how excited you were for delivery day. You both cried after the birth (for very different reasons of course). And most importantly, you both love your babies with all your heart.

But…………you didn’t get to celebrate like they did, after all that hard work you put in. I mean, you were eating right and exercising. You went to doctor appointments and birthing classes. You went to all your scheduled checkups. You got sick and were uncomfortable………like all the time. You did all this, and you still didn’t get to celebrate like they did. And after going through all that, you deserve a special day. No one else knows your pain. It is unique. It is not something you can even put into words. Why aren’t you recognized for your suffering? I don’t know. It is a mystery to me why stillborn parents get pushed to the bottom of the pain and suffering totem pole. It’s time that changed.

As a stillborn daddy, I only know a little tiny piece of what you went through. I was there when my Ariana was born. But obviously, I don’t know what it is like to deliver a dead baby out of my body. A baby I felt kicking. A baby who could hear my voice, and could respond to every one of my subtle movements. You mommies do the real work. And I bet you would say that the pain of childbirth was nothing compared to the pain of seeing your lifeless baby afterwards.

Other mommies didn’t deal with that. It is a cruel thing that you had to go through. You had to watch other mommies smiling while looking at their new babies. You had to listen to your co-workers talk about how much fun they were having with their new baby. You heard them keep talking about how fast they go through diapers, and how much money everything costs. Or how they constantly talk about being awakened in the middle of the night because their baby won’t stop crying. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. But it still hurts really bad.

Your stillborn baby makes you a true mommy in every sense of the word! Even if you have never have any other children. You deserve your own special Mother’s Day. You deserve it today. Why?

Because………..

 

1) Your stillborn baby is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and your womb is the place where this miraculous event took place.

2) So few people try to empathize with the pain you have gone through, and still experience. A special Mother’s Day would help people recognize it more.

3) You remember what it’s like to hold your lifeless baby and love them unconditionally, even when they could not love you back.

4) You continue to love your stillborn, even though your baby is not here to return it.

5) The length of a baby’s life outside the womb has no bearing on whether or not you are truly a mommy. A mother of a living baby does not make her more of a mommy than you are of your stillborn. (I’ve written more about this topic here)

6) Your baby is not dead. He or she is alive more than ever! (more on that here)

7) The bond between mother and child begins in the womb and never ends. Is there anyone else in the world as anxious as you are to see your little one again? I think not.

All of these reasons, and many more, make you a mommy. Not a lesser mommy. But a true mommy just like any other. Except for the fact that you are unique in many ways. You are a mommy who deserves her own very special Mother’s Day! And you deserve it whether or not America, the UK, or any other countries recognize it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

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You deserve your own special Mother’s Day, stillborn mommy. Yes, you should be honored and remembered in a specific way, and on a specific day, that wouldn’t apply to every other mommy. This is not to take anything away from other mommies who have not had the same life experience. All mommies should be honored on Mother’s Day, and every other day of the year for that matter. But you are different, stillborn mommy. You are a unique mommy. And since you are a unique mommy, you deserve your own special, unique day.

And even if you have other children besides your stillborn babies, then you should get two Mother’s Day holidays. One to celebrate you, for all you have done to love and sacrifice for your living children. And another to celebrate you, for all you went through during your pregnancy, and in delivering your stillborn baby. Not only that, but you deserve a special day to recognize everything you still do to keep their memory alive. You deserve it because of the unique pain that you still bear each day. Your sacrifice merits a different kind of recognition. Your story is truly one of a kind. And it’s time we saw some headlines about it!

It is not wrong, or prideful, of you to receive such a special holiday. It is not even wrong to desire it. You went through a specific pain other mommies didn’t. Yes, you both carried a baby in your tummy. You both went through your hormonal changes. You both got sick. You both saw your babies on the ultrasound. You both heard a heartbeat. You both took good care of yourselves. You both gained weight. You both endlessly shopped for maternity clothes. You both decorated a brand new room for the baby. Perhaps you both had a baby shower and did a registry. You both spoke joyfully, and incessantly, about how excited you were for delivery day. You both cried after the birth (for very different reasons of course). And most importantly, you both love your babies with all your heart.

But…………you didn’t get to celebrate like they did, after all that hard work you put in. I mean, you were eating right and exercising. You went to doctor appointments and birthing classes. You went to all your scheduled checkups. You got sick and were uncomfortable………like all the time. You did all this, and you still didn’t get to celebrate like they did. And after going through all that, you deserve a special day. No one else knows your pain. It is unique. It is not something you can even put into words. Why aren’t you recognized for your suffering? I don’t know. It is a mystery to me why stillborn parents get pushed to the bottom of the pain and suffering totem pole. It’s time that changed.

As a stillborn daddy, I only know a little tiny piece of what you went through. I was there when my Ariana was born. But obviously, I don’t know what it is like to deliver a dead baby out of my body. A baby I felt kicking. A baby who could hear my voice, and could respond to every one of my subtle movements. You mommies do the real work. And I bet you would say that the pain of childbirth was nothing compared to the pain of seeing your lifeless baby afterwards.

Other mommies didn’t deal with that. It is a cruel thing that you had to go through. You had to watch other mommies smiling while looking at their new babies. You had to listen to your co-workers talk about how much fun they were having with their new baby. You heard them keep talking about how fast they go through diapers, and how much money everything costs. Or how they constantly talk about being awakened in the middle of the night because their baby won’t stop crying. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. But it still hurts really bad.

Your stillborn baby makes you a true mommy in every sense of the word! Even if you have never have any other children. You deserve your own special Mother’s Day. You deserve it today. Why?

Because………..

 

1) Your stillborn baby is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and your womb is the place where this miraculous event took place.

2) So few people try to empathize with the pain you have gone through, and still experience. A special Mother’s Day would help people recognize it more.

3) You remember what it’s like to hold your lifeless baby and love them unconditionally, even when they could not love you back.

4) You continue to love your stillborn, even though your baby is not here to return it.

5) The length of a baby’s life outside the womb has no bearing on whether or not you are truly a mommy. A mother of a living baby does not make her more of a mommy than you are of your stillborn. (I’ve written more about this topic here)

6) Your baby is not dead. He or she is alive more than ever! (more on that here)

7) The bond between mother and child begins in the womb and never ends. Is there anyone else in the world as anxious as you are to see your little one again? I think not.

All of these reasons, and many more, make you a mommy. Not a lesser mommy. But a true mommy just like any other. Except for the fact that you are unique in many ways. You are a mommy who deserves her own very special Mother’s Day! And you deserve it whether or not America, the UK, or any other countries recognize it.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

You deserve your own special Mother’s Day, stillborn mommy. Yes, you should be honored and remembered in a specific way, and on a specific day, that wouldn’t apply to every other mommy. This is not to take anything away from other mommies who have not had the same life experience. All mommies should be honored on Mother’s Day, and every other day of the year for that matter. But you are different, stillborn mommy. You are a unique mommy. And since you are a unique mommy, you deserve your own special, unique day.

And even if you have other children besides your stillborn babies, then you should get two Mother’s Day holidays. One to celebrate you, for all you have done to love and sacrifice for your living children. And another to celebrate you, for all you went through during your pregnancy, and in delivering your stillborn baby. Not only that, but you deserve a special day to recognize everything you still do to keep their memory alive. You deserve it because of the unique pain that you still bear each day. Your sacrifice merits a different kind of recognition. Your story is truly one of a kind. And it’s time we saw some headlines about it!

It is not wrong, or prideful, of you to receive such a special holiday. It is not even wrong to desire it. You went through a specific pain other mommies didn’t. Yes, you both carried a baby in your tummy. You both went through your hormonal changes. You both got sick. You both saw your babies on the ultrasound. You both heard a heartbeat. You both took good care of yourselves. You both gained weight. You both endlessly shopped for maternity clothes. You both decorated a brand new room for the baby. Perhaps you both had a baby shower and did a registry. You both spoke joyfully, and incessantly, about how excited you were for delivery day. You both cried after the birth (for very different reasons of course). And most importantly, you both love your babies with all your heart.

But…………you didn’t get to celebrate like they did, after all that hard work you put in. I mean, you were eating right and exercising. You went to doctor appointments and birthing classes. You went to all your scheduled checkups. You got sick and were uncomfortable………like all the time. You did all this, and you still didn’t get to celebrate like they did. And after going through all that, you deserve a special day. No one else knows your pain. It is unique. It is not something you can even put into words. Why aren’t you recognized for your suffering? I don’t know. It is a mystery to me why stillborn parents get pushed to the bottom of the pain and suffering totem pole. It’s time that changed.

As a stillborn daddy, I only know a little tiny piece of what you went through. I was there when my Ariana was born. But obviously, I don’t know what it is like to deliver a dead baby. A baby you once felt kicking. A baby who could hear your voice, and could respond to every one of your subtle movements. You mommies do the real work. And I bet you would say that the pain of childbirth was nothing compared to the pain of seeing your lifeless baby afterwards.

Other mommies didn’t deal with that. It is a cruel thing that you had to go through. You had to watch other mommies smiling while looking at their new babies. You had to listen to your co-workers talk about how much fun they were having with their new baby. You heard them keep talking about how fast they go through diapers, and how much money everything costs. Or how they constantly talk about being awakened in the middle of the night because their baby won’t stop crying. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it. But it still hurts really bad.

Your stillborn baby makes you a true mommy in every sense of the word! Even if you have never have any other children. You deserve your own special Mother’s Day. You deserve it today. Why?

Because………..

 

1) Your stillborn baby is fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and your womb is the place where this miraculous event took place.

 

2) So few people try to empathize with the pain you have gone through, and still experience. A special Mother’s Day would help people recognize it more.

 

3) You remember what it’s like to hold your baby and love them unconditionally, even when they couldn’t respond to any of it.

 

4) You continue to love your stillborn, even though your baby is not here to return it. But one day they will!

 

5) The length of a baby’s life outside the womb has no bearing on whether or not you are truly a mommy. A mother of a living baby is not more of a mommy than you are of your stillborn. (I’ve written more about this topic here)

 

6) Your baby is not dead. He or she is alive more than ever! (more on that here)

 

7) The bond between mother and child begins in the womb and never ends. Is there anyone else in the world as anxious as you are to see your little one again? I think not.

 

All of these reasons, and many more, make you a mommy. Not a lesser mommy. But a true mommy just like any other. Except for the fact that you are unique in many ways. You are a mommy who deserves her own very special Mother’s Day! And you deserve it whether or not America, the UK, or any other countries recognize it.

—————

* This article is dedicated to stillborn mommies specifically because my blog has this emphasis. So just to be clear, much of what is written here would apply to mommies who have miscarried as well. Your miscarried baby also makes you a mommy just like every other mommy! I wasn’t purposefully excluding you by any means. There’s something unusual about people’s responses to stillborn babies that made me want to write this.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

5 Unforgettable Moments You Had With Your Stillborn Baby

Jamie Francis Family, Stillborn Babies, Tragedy and Suffering

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“I can’t believe this is happening to me!” Is this what you were thinking the day you had your stillborn baby? Were you confused about why, and more importantly why you?Or maybe you were feeling anger or jealousy, thinking something like, “Why can’t I have a normal baby, a living baby, like everyone else in this hospital?” “Why do they get to have the joy of taking their newborn home, and instead I’m holding a dead baby?” Why? Why? Please, someone just tell me………why?

Even as a daddy, I struggled with the above questions. Although I’m sure I don’t struggle nearly as much, or as bad as you mommies do. But some questions never get answered for any of us, at least on this side of heaven. Just thinking about that day can bring back a teeter-totter of intense emotions. Your stress levels can spring back to unprecedented levels, can’t they? Your brain relives that time so vividly. Your mind can soar to the utmost heights of joy, and 5 minutes later sink to lowest depth of pain and sorrow. There were moments of despair and sheer terror when you were in the delivery room. But those same moments were also mixed with love, wonder, and hope. How can anyone even explain this? I lived through it and still can’t explain it. And no one, except for parents who have been through it, can even relate to what I am talking about. The whole experience is still shrouded in mystery.

Are you ever afraid you’re going to forget those precious moments you had with your lifeless baby? You know, those moments in the delivery room when he or she finally arrived? Are you ever afraid your memory will lapse on how it felt to be cradling your little one? Do you ever think you’ll forget that little boy or girl? The way they felt? The color of their eyes? The exact appearance of their face? What about the words you spoke to them as they lie motionless in your arms? Are things starting to become a blur over time? Are you scared of the moment slipping away from you?

Yes, we all have these fears when it comes to our stillborn babies. We’re afraid we will forget some of the most memorable few hours of our lives. Granted, this could happen. At least to certain degrees in most of us. We live in a fallen world, with minds that are also fallen. The sad fact is that, as some of us get older, we will forget some of the moments we had with our babies. This could be due to Alzheimer’s, senility, or simply old age. Nothing, not even our good memories of delivery day, will be perfect on a fallen earth.

But why do we have these intense fears regarding memories of our stillborn? Very simple. You fear losing those things you most treasure. You become almost obsessed with not losing them. Memories of our babies are precious. Especially since, for parents of stillborns, memories are all we have. And we may forget little tiny moments of that day, but certainly not the whole experience. Not even close.

By the grace of God, here are 5 gut-wrenching, tear-filled, but at the same time precious moments you will likely not forget about your sweet stillborn. As a daddy, my experience was much different than you as a mommy, of course. And although this one is written for both parents, I suspect mommies will relate to it more. Either way, I hope it blesses you. So let’s get to it, mommies and daddies. While there are many more things that could be added to this list, I hope you will never forget………….


1) The exact way it felt to hold your little baby in your arms for the first time.

Remember how you carefully made sure that their fragile, wobbly body was well protected, with their head placed sturdily underneath your arm? Remember trying not to injure them, and being ever so delicate with them? Trust me, whether or not you say you believe in God, you knew that your baby was created in His image. You cannot deny that. It shows in the way you treated your little one. The way you took extra care to make sure you held them like a baby should be held. The way you reacted when the nurses wanted to bathe and clothe your baby in a cute little outfit. You wanted to be a mommy and daddy just like every other parent. Stillborn babies are body and soul just like every other human being, created to bring glory to God and live forever. You must accept, and hold onto this truth, because you proved it in the delivery room. You loved and cradled your baby like the precious human being they truly are. And it felt amazing, didn’t it?!


2) The way you pretended you were going to take your baby home.

Remember the tears and overwhelming emotions when your baby was born? Was it joy or was it sadness? Was it both? I suspect it was both……..in some crazy, but unexplainable way. Delivery day!! YAY!! No wait……..“I can’t be happy! Can I??” At some point, you stopped worrying about what everyone else thought. You stepped full force into the messy and scary reality of what you were going through. You talked to your baby like you were giving them instructions, didn’t you? You told them how much you loved them, right? Even though you knew they couldn’t hear you, you still told them. You wanted to make that day as beautiful as it could possibly be. And that is the way it should be. That is our God given way of dealing with grief. No one was going to take your moment of joy away from you, even if they tried.

And you needed to pretend a little, didn’t you? You felt like you were going to take them home with you. You convinced yourself of this. Just for that short period of time, you pretended like you were like every other mommy and daddy in a delivery room. “Why should I be any different than them?” is what you were thinking. And you know what, it was ok to pretend. It was ok to pretend that you were taking your baby home. We allow little kids to have that kind of mind sometimes, right? We wouldn’t dare condemn every kind of “pretend” game. How else could you have enjoyed those few moments you had with your baby? The mind is an amazing thing! It gives us the ability to enjoy precious moments, even in the midst of awfully intense sorrow. Both at the same time. It allows us to momentarily shut things out a little bit, doing away with emotions that will only complicate things. That’s what I did with Ariana. I held her like she was coming home. I spoke to her like she was coming home. It made the time go much better. Was it like that for you?


3) That moment when your precious little first came out of your body……..silently.

It was a deafening sound of silence. I know that is an oxymoron, but it wasn’t like any other silence. It was a silence you could only feel. A silence you can still vividly imagine when your mind travels back to that day. Remember how you were hoping and praying, and wishing real hard, that your baby would just start crying, despite all the medical evidence that said he or she was already dead. I knew Ariana was gone before we went to the delivery room that day. The ultrasound proved as much the day before her birth. But I still kept holding onto hope. Maybe I had seen seen too many movies. I don’t know.

But I believed miracles happen. I wasn’t a Christian at the time. But I still believed that God existed, and that He performed miracles. I still thought I would get my prayers answered. Yes, I really thought we were going to get a miracle on February 20th, 2002. Looking back, I imagine Ariana coming out of the womb crying like other babies, looking at me as if to say, “Daddy, why do you look so frightened? Have faith! I am alive! I am a living miracle! Come over here and give me a hug!” But it wasn’t meant to be. You know how people say “crickets” all the time now when speaking about silence. That was the answer God gave me. “Crickets” was all I heard from my little girl. Mommy was moaning in pain. The nurses were speaking encouraging words. I was silent. Silent and crying. And my baby was silent. I know yours was too.


4) The thoughts you had when you had to give your baby back.

How cruel it felt to give your baby back to the people at the hospital, knowing that the next time you see your little……..he or she will be in a casket. Knowing that your hope has now been disintegrated, you feel like there is no reason to have joy ever again in your life. Now, all you can think about is how you have to lie in that bed and listen to all the other babies screaming and crying in the other rooms. You have to somehow hold up under the weight of what feels to be an unbearable load. You have to drive home with that empty car seat in the back.

It has been said that picking out a casket for a baby is one of the most dreadful experiences one could ever go through. The person who said this may be right, but they are missing the whole picture. Here’s the thing. You also had to see that casket being lowered into the ground. Did you think about seeing your little being lowered into the ground when you gave them back at the hospital? Maybe you suppressed that truth in the moment. But not long after, you knew it was coming.

Don’t forget that moment at the cemetery. I know it’s painful, but do not forget this moment. Why? Because it is a part of your story. It is a part of you that no one should ever forget about. It is a reminder that this world is not as it should be. You had to give your baby back. And that is not the way it should have gone down. Mommies and daddies should not be handing back their babies at hospitals. But there is hope!


5) The moment when you first thought about where your baby really is.

You know what? The casket is not your baby’s home. Neither is the grave. Read those last two sentences again. You know what else? The day you delivered your stillborn wasn’t all about pretending was it? Maybe the part about taking them home was, but there is a greater truth that should’ve kept us going. And if this truth didn’t keep you going in the delivery room then, please make sure it keeps you going now. Your stillborn baby is now, and forever, in a place of infinite joy and pleasure.  I keep thinking about where my little girl was in spirit, even though she was lifeless in my arms. You can do the same. Even better, you can think about where your baby is now. They’ll be dancing on streets of gold one day, when they have their glorified bodies. And that is not pretend. That is for real.

Your baby’s spirit is now with Jesus. So even if you do end up with a tragic disease of the mind and forget about your baby, HE never will! And if you are in Christ, you will see your baby again. And no one, and I mean no one, can ever take that truth away.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!  – Jamie

If You Had Been in Hawaii on January 13th, 2018

Jamie Francis Evangelism, Prayer, Tragedy and Suffering

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Imagine you lived in Hawaii, and you woke up to find the following text alert on your smart phone……….

BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

I don’t know about you. But I imagine the words coming from my mouth would have been something like “%%$%&*$%#%!!!!” In other words, not printable for a Christian blog. But the dread of such a message was very real for hundreds of thousands of Hawaiians on Saturday, January 13th, 2018. A day no Hawaiian could ever, or will ever, forget. Thank God, it was a false alarm. But it was nearly 40 minutes before the terrified residents of Hawaii found out that the ‘threat’ wasn’t a real threat. That 40 minutes gave them plenty of time to think. It must’ve seemed like forever under the circumstances. I can only imagine what some of the racing thoughts would be for most people:

What do I do? Where do I go? Where exactly is it going to hit? Where’s my kids? Where’s my wife/husband? OH NO!! We don’t have a shelter!! HELP!! GOD, please help us!!

Fear. Panic. No…………more like unbridled terror…………hearts beating faster than they would in any of your worst nightmares…………….absolute, utter terror.

“I am going to die!!” was the theme of the day. A day that started like any other. And then, all of a sudden, in the blink of an eye, you find out that you may only have minutes to live. As the initial “fight or flight” panic winds down just a little, what would you think about? Whom would you think of? Would regrets begin to flood your mind? Would you really go from terror to regret? You might think such a response could never happen if your very life were at stake. You might think that the entire time would be focused on physical survival and nothing else whatsoever. Think again.

You would think about more than just your own, and everyone else’s, physical survival. Your relationship with God and how you have treated others would overwhelm you. Why? Because when you’re a Christian, eternal things matter more than anything. Obedience to God, your prayer life, unsaved friends and family members……….it all matters. And when your time is short, especially with only minutes to live, you won’t be able to stop thinking of eternal matters. If you doubt me, I suggest you read this sobering article by pastor Garrett Kell. In it, he recalls the harrowing account of a Christian woman named Dee, who was in Hawaii that fateful day. She received the ominous false alert. At the outset, her initial reaction was like a lot of people’s would be. Survival mode instinct kicked in. Then, because she is a believer, everything turned Christian from this point on. Instead of just thinking about physical survival, and what to do in a panic, it became ‘What important thing have I failed to do?’ or ‘What did God command me to do that I have willfully neglected?'”

Don’t get me wrong. It certainly matters what you do in survival mode. It matters whether you live or die. We have a God-given instinct to want to live. Your behavior matters when threatened with death. But ultimately, it’s in God’s hands whether you make it out alive. It’s in God’s hands whether a threat is real or a false alarm. But what matters even more is this: How did you live before the threat even happened? What was done for Christ? What was done in love? How much did you pray? Did you put your hand to the plow without looking back?

Remember our sister Dee in the above story. Something else came to her mind during the threat. She remembered that her son did not know Jesus. It scared her something fierce. He had resisted the gospel many times in the past. It wasn’t that she failed to try. It’s just that she knew one thing: if the Lord didn’t grant her son repentance before imminent nuclear fallout, then he would be forever under the wrath of Almighty God. I guarantee you that she will share the good news with him again very soon if she hasn’t already…….and again soon after that. No hesitation. No apologies. I believe that missile threats help to turn people into passionate evangelists.

You may be thinking, “Jamie, that missile crisis was a fluke. Ain’t gonna happen again! And even if it does, what are the odds it will happen in my unknown part of the world?!” Ok, maybe so. But what about this next hypothetical scenario? What if this were you? Could the scenario below be you tomorrow? Or the next day? Next week?

 

Here goes………..

 

Your eyes begin to open ever so slightly. “Sir, can you hear me?” asks the nurse as you look up in bewilderment. You don’t even know what happened. All you know is that you are in a hospital, lying down and in a lot of pain. You are conscious enough to hear the question. But you don’t have the strength to answer. The nurse stares at you softly with a mildly reassuring smile and says, “Sir, we are going to take good care of you.”

You are confused and disoriented. You muster up enough strength to ask one very important question………….“What happened?”  She replies, “You are having a heart attack and we need to perform surgery. The doctor is on his way.” Your wife and kids are crying profusely, not knowing what is going to happen. And just like that, you realize that this may be it. You might not be around much longer. Technically speaking, you are on your deathbed. You didn’t plan it. You had no idea it was coming. But here you are.

Christian, have you ever thought about your deathbed, if you even get one? What will it be like? What will you think about most?  What will you want to do over again? What will cause you to shed the most grievous tears? Whom will you think of? What will be a great source of regret? Have you thought about the terrifying emotions you might experience? The frustration of a bad choice made, or not made? The spiritual agony of not obeying God? The “what if” thoughts plaguing your mind something fierce? The agonizing prayers asking God to “just give you a few more weeks of time!!” That sinking feeling of “It’s too late to do anything now.”

What if you were to suffer a severe stroke and you had this gut-wrenching thought:

I want to do something now. I want to make things right with her. But I can’t speak. I can’t move my arm or my fingers. I can’t call her to tell her how much I love her. She may never know that I wanted to reconcile with her.

Sad. Pitiful. Devastating. Let’s pray to God that we take care of these things while we have time. Scripture tells us to “redeem the time.” Christians should pursue good with others, and make the most of the time God has given us. Obedience requires us to put things in order as best we can in the here and now. Fight against regrets now, so you don’t have to deal with them when it may be too late.

Whether or not you experience a missile threat, one thing is for certain: You will have regrets. I’m not saying that you can take care of every single one of them. I mean, we are sinners. There is only One who lived and died with zero regrets. His Name is Jesus Christ. But………..we can work through them while the Lord has given us time. Let us seek Him for the grace we need to pursue God and others with love. In the here and now.

The reality is that we are all on our deathbed every day we live…….so to speak. We are dying. Every moment that passes we are one step closer to the grave. So maybe we ought to consider every day a deathbed experience. In the famous work “The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards”, Resolution #17 states:

Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

In other words, we should start doing those things that matter now, not later. Don’t wait for your deathbed. You are already on it. In the Book of James, we read this:

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14)

You don’t have to be lying on a hospital bed with a heart attack to begin attacking your regrets. By the grace of God, do what you can. Make your best effort. It won’t be perfect, of course. But you will not regret trying. I can assure you of that. Deathbed regrets are not those things we tried to make right and failed. They are the things we never even tried to fix. Nothing brings regrets to the surface more than serious threats to our lives.

There are things we all need to do now. Let us pray that God’s Spirit would bring us to the place of obedience. If you’re a Christian, you can take comfort in knowing that Jesus Christ has died for all those regretful things we have ever done, or failed to do. Praise His glorious Name!

In my next post, I write about 6 specific regrets we may have. Stay tuned!

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by! 

Some of the Saddest Last Words Ever Spoken

Jamie Francis The Rich & Famous, Tragedy and Suffering

david-cassidy-2000

 

“So much wasted time.” According to his daughter Katie, these were the last words uttered by former teen heartthrob David Cassidy. He succumbed to liver failure on November 21st, 2017. The news of his passing, as well as every person who dies, reminds us all that we are only here for a short time, and then we vanish. I know that sounds awfully morbid and depressing. But it’s true. We experience it close to home and when we read the news. And Scripture affirms it. “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

Yet, most of us try to forget about this sobering truth. It’s like we push it aside purposefully and think death won’t happen to us for a long time. We live sometimes with reckless abandon when it comes to our Christian faith, not applying ourselves to the very Word of God. We always think we will have another day to make something right that we have previously wronged. Our mindset if often warped. We think things like……..

I’ll call her sometime and try to work things out. I’m just too angry right now at what happened.

Oh, you know what, it’s his fault. he needs to reach out to me first.

I’ll start praying more when the new year rolls around.

When I don’t have so much work to do, I’ll start spending more time with my wife.

I’ll stop looking at porn soon. I just need to get my fix for a little while longer.

Get the picture? We should not play such dangerous games with God. Time is running shorter every moment that passes. God can take us at any given moment.

Now, it would be really easy for us to point the finger at David Cassidy. His alcohol abuse and legal problems were well known. And while we can see clearly as to why such a lifestyle would be considered wasting time, we don’t often take the log out of our own eye first. Cassidy’s last words should not make us judge him harshly, but ought to break our hearts. And it ought to make us think more soberly about our own failures and sinful patterns. At least Cassidy had the humility to recognize that he had indeed “wasted much time.” He had the fame, the girls, the alcohol, and everything else that Hollywood excess is known for. But it took organ failure and being surrounded by loved ones on his death bed, to bring him to the place of agonizing regret.

At the end of one’s life, what does all that ill-gotten pleasure matter? What does it matter if you have wasted your time? What does it matter if you had numerous hit singles? What does it matter if the illicit sex felt good, or the drugs gave you a nice high? What does it all matter when you failed to love your family? And what does it matter if you constantly put other things before Jesus Christ? I am not sure what all was going through David Cassidy’s mind before his death. But his final words ought to bring us Christians to our knees and pray that we would stop wasting time. There is a line in the famous poem by British missionary C.T. Studd that goes like this: ‘Tis one life, it will soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.’

There is something more frightening than being on our death bed. And that is being on our death bed with regrets related to disobedience and wasted time. Time that could have been spent in the Word of God, praying, putting our sins to death, loving our spouses, and sharing the gospel. And what about spending time with church family and reconciling broken relationships? All too frequently we put these things on the shelf, supposedly waiting for a “better” time to deal with it. We foolishly assume that we will have time to take care of important things later in life. But folks, this is not Christianity. God does not give us “Time Outs” in our walk with Christ. He gives us commands to obey, and He doesn’t negotiate the time frame on when we start obeying them. The time is now. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). So let us get busy doing things for Christ that will last. Let us get busy now, so that we don’t regret it later.

Our biggest problem is that we often resort to other more ‘comfortable’ things so we don’t have to deal with the hard stuff. We end up watching too much Netflix, commenting on too many posts, tweeting about anything and everything, and stressing over matters we cannot control. Do we really want to wait until we have just a few hours (or minutes) to live before we realize that we wasted so much time? Do we really want to wait until we have stage 4 cancer to become diligent about eternal matters? Do we really want to stay angry and frustrated about the past and things that we cannot change? Do we really want to grieve the Spirit and harbor anger toward a brother or sister in Christ? I think not.

Lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by family, David Cassidy wished he had done things differently. We all have choices to make everyday. We either destroy our lives, and others around us, by giving in to sin. Or, we redeem the time we have by living for God. I hope and pray that Cassidy’s last words would be a wake up call to Christians everywhere. I pray that we would stop wasting time, do the hard and obedient things, and store up rewards that are everlasting.

And for those of you who aren’t Christians, you need to look to the God-man Jesus Christ, who redeemed His time on earth by living perfectly in thought, word, and deed. He spent 6 hours hanging on a cross, bearing God’s wrath for sinners like you and me. And He didn’t waste a single second of time doing it. He died, and then He rose from the grave 3 days later. All of this was purposefully planned. I urge you to repent of your sins, and receive Christ by faith. Otherwise, you will just be wasting your time on earth, and storing up wrath for eternity. And God doesn’t waste time when He is inflicting His wrath on sinners in hell.

Our days are already marked out by God beforehand. Christians, don’t put off obedience to the commands of God. Do them now. None of us will be on our deathbed regretting that we shared the gospel with too many people, or that we agonized in prayer too often, or that we humbled ourselves and asked someone for forgiveness. No, what we will regret are the times we did not share the gospel, or that we spent fighting with other Christians, or that we held a grudge against our spouse. Instead, how about we do these things to redeem the time:

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry (Colossians 3:5).

And also “aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12).

And of course………..

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age (Matthew 28:19).

Just a few weeks ago in a Florida hospital, the teen idol who once sang “Daydreamer” could only dream he had more time. Not just more time to exist, but more time to truly live…….with good and noble purposes. God gives us one reserve of time. And He desires that we use it for His glory. Let us repent of time wasted and begin redeeming it to glorify His Name.

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Your likes or comments are always appreciated! I will do my best to respond to each one. And if you enjoy my posts, I wouldn’t mind an extra subscriber either. (-:  God bless you, and thanks for stopping by!